It came to my attention that the current Polish government is planing to restrict rights of mothers in birth centers – no longer will women have control over the birth process, allowing them to choose the kind of labor and level of medication they desire. This is very disconcerting. I remember very well the story of my mother’s labor in the 80s. Instead of wonderful moments, she experienced separation, fatigue and a complete lack of respect. My friends from big Polish cities, who gave birth in Polish hospitals never complained to me. Will it change now?
The same day when I was reading with disbelief about the Polish legislation, I was filling an admission survey to my hospital in Berkeley, which prefers that you register on-line long before your due date.
I noticed right away that right away I was asked about whether I’m a surrogate mother, whether I am married or perhaps a homosexual, in an effort to customize my birth experience. Would I need additional accommodation? There is no room for discrimination, and no reduced standards for people in non-typical situations. The Hospital just needed information. There was an option “not to answer”.
My first labor American experience was a positive one. I was admitted to the hospital just before midnight. After some time, we were informed that I should be admitted, because I approached the state of preclampsia. I knew this word only in English and somehow I was not too worried. Without hesitating, I agreed to induce the labor. Dean was by my side all the time.
I felt, of course, pain and discomfort, but after several hours it was the nurse who told me that I should agree to an epidural. I had forgotten about this option completely. 40 minutes later, anesthesiologists appeared in our room. I just had to sign the agreement. Doctors patiently waited to acquire my consent between contractions.
The procedure took place without problems. The rest went quite smoothly. I felt that the staff, was equally exited that soon a new little being will appear in the world. Rose spent her first minutes after birth on my chest. I had imagined that doctors would wash her first, but they politely insisted that she rest on me first, to enable her body temperature to normalize. And they were right. They washed her very gently, calmly stating her name. The nurse, who was with me through out the last stage was dark-skinned. I wish I remembered her name. She helped me a lot and cheered me to the end, that I could do this. I had my choice of labor positions. I decided to lay down. In the end nurse asked if I wanted to see the little head in the mirror. I refused, as it would have been too much. Dean however took a look, confirmed he can see something. After birth, he cut the umbilical cord and of course, like a typical American, took a video.
I will add here that no one informed me how many points Rose earned on the Apgar scale. It is not a common practice here, but in general it did not bother me. Later, Rose was with us all the time, except maybe one or two times when the nurse, of course with our consent, took Rose to the nursery, so we could sleep a little. She also asked if she could also give her a bottle, but we declined. Doctors respectfully helped me in the first feedings. I never experienced the so-called breast milk letdown, so I do not know how the nurses would tackle these problems, but in all other cases, such as asking for painkillers, they appeared instantly.
Perhaps the only downside of the USCF hospital in San Francisco was that a lot of doctors and nurses still wanted to examine little Rose and ask a lot about my family medical history, but it was not too annoying. At the end we were allowed to stay a little longer to Skype my sister’s wedding in Poland.
After visiting the hospital we received a satisfaction questionnaire and … a whopping bill for $ 35,000! It fortunately turned out that insurance covered around 80 percent of this gigantic cost. Phew….
Now I see a gynecologist every month. At the beginning I was asked if this is was a planned pregnancy. If it wasn’t the case, I would not have to go to another state, and certainly the doctor would evaluate my decision.
Now, of course, I am anxious about my second birth. It will also be my first longer separation from Rose, so I hope for a quick labor. But I know that I can trust the doctors and will calmly pack a bag for next year’s trip to the hospital.
May 2015